Sunday, 1 March 2015

Beginnings and introductions. #innerturmoil

I've been meaning to carry on with this blog for a while. There has been a lot of deleting, opening blogspot, closing blogspot, starting to write a first post and wondering whether it would be relevant at all to any readers out there, then deleting said post and feeling discouraged for 20 minutes, before seeking out a rich tea biscuit and trying to start again. 

There are soooo many blogs, focusing on soooo many different things. It's impossible for me to list them all out, fashion, lifestyle, food, general musings - leaving me with the question: What should my blog be?  It's a thought that has brought about some kind of inner turmoil for me. #BigupJennaMarbles


Will  I be as witty and charming in this blog as I might come across in real life? Probably not. Will I bowl you over with deep insights into the fashion world? From the girl who is writing this wearing leggings, and a jumper with a hole in... no. 

But, I appreciate that you don't even know me, and people might not even read this, so does my blog need to prove anything, really?  I'm an introvert, but also extroverted, I love to see people, go out and be the loud crass person at the bar doing shots. However, I also love sitting at home, on my own, wrapped up in a book or film. I treasure the time I spend on my own, I love my own company, but I can also be recklessly impulsive. I am that girl who writes lists.  Being this kind of person, is confusing to say the least. 

Yet, there is something wonderfully pleasing about being at an age, where you don't need to worry about what people are thinking about you and loving where you are in life. Re-wind to when I first started this blog in 2008 and I was trying so hard for my blog to reach an audience that didn't really exist. I tried to be fashion savvy, yet I'm not fashionable at all, I tried to care about beauty, but I spend about 20 minutes on my morning make up routine. I even tried a recipe part of my blog and although I can cook, I didn't keep it up.  I have a fantastic job, fabulous friends, a lovely family and a wonderful boyfriend.  That's where I am in life. Happy. Content. Pleased with me. I've changed, so my blog has changed.  

So, I guess what I'm trying to say, rather un-eloquently is that this is a blog for me, it is a epitome of me. It is not going to focus on any one thing and it certainly won't try and be something it's not. It's more likely to be, slightly cluttered, brain dump. But who's perfect? More importantly, who's blog is perfect?